8 Ways To Get A Guy’s Attention At Any Nigerian Wedding

1. During officiating of wedding at the church, make sure you sing loudest. Even louder than the choir members.
 
 
So that the prospective Bae will notice you as early as possible before the other girls start competing for his attention with you.
 
2. Killer outfit toh bahhd – You know the outfit should accentuate your God-given attributes.
 
If you don’t have any God-given attributes, you can purchase alternatives and pad your body. That brother must notice you by fire and by force.
 
3. Switch on your Eye-Phucking-101 Mode. You know how Sharon Stone will do it if she was in your shoes? Yeah right!
 
Undress him with your eyes. Make love to his soul with your iris. Hayy Gawd! Let the rays from your eyes pierce into his heart while licking your lips intermittently.
 
4. Smile at him (even if he is not smiling back at you). Initially, he might think that you must be some psycho that just escaped from Yaba Left.
 
But don’t give up my sister. Keep smiling and he will eventually smile back. Then you will now collect his number. Finito!
 
5. Use your body language and convey your interest. Start cat-walking upandan in the reception venue. The little nyansh God gave you, make sure to pop it out every now and then.
 
 
And what do you think your breasts are for? Giving baby milk? Ma frien’…shake those bells while dancing around him so that he can see them.
 
6. Gather morale, lose your home training, walk up to him and whisper all those things I can’t even write here into his ears. “Hey Sugar, I’m not wearing any underwear”.
 
 
But if peradventure the Bobo’s gyalfriend is somewhere nearby and overhears you, my sister…you are on your own.
 
7. When it is time for the bride to throw her bouquet, make sure you stay in front and jump the highest. This is a very important step. Jump high enough so he can at least see how high up your legs go.
 
 
After doing this one and he still doesn’t notice you, then your village people must be playing SNAKE AND LADDER on top of your head.
 
8: Last Last, if all the strategies don’t work, then it is time to hook up with a willing ‘Side Nigga’

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