Gone are the days when interethnic marriages were strongly discouraged.
These days, people are starting to marry whomever they please and only a
few families still stubbornly tell their children not to marry from other
ethnic groups or tribes as it’s sometimes called.
Marriage though has its challenges. Differences in culture and tradition
between marriage mates can potentially add more.
Hence, there is a need to avoid mistakes that can lead to misunderstanding
and conflict when marrying someone from the other tribe. Below are some of
those mistakes to avoid.
Not asking questions about your spouse’s culture and tradition
Don’t be ignorant of your spouse’s culture and traditions. Make sure you
ask, especially before meeting your in-laws. For example, greeting amongst
the Yoruba is very important. Get to know what is expected of you. It will
help prevent problems with your in-laws.
Expecting Too Much
There will be a time when you will feel left out if you don’t understand
their language. It may affect your discussion with the in-laws. If they
speak their language around you, you may feel they are talking about you.
It may be difficult but manage your expectations. Don’t assume the worst
and don’t expect them to walk on eggshells around you and stop speaking
their own language.
It is quite easy to forget how demanding an inter-ethnic marriage can be
for your partner if they don’t know much about your ways and your language.
If you fail to put yourself in their shoes, it may affect your
relationship. Ensure you carry your spouse along and make them feel
included. Translate, hold hands, smile, and protect your spouse.
Refusing to Learn
Show a keen interest. If you can learn each other’s language, please do so.
You can learn about their native foods, dress and other things. This will
help you understand your spouse and his or her family better. It will also
strengthen your bond because it demonstrates how much you love your spouse.
photo source: #thesowemimos2017- Abiodun and Ogochukwu